Tillamook County Women's Resource Center

Sexual violence occurs on a spectrum, from seemingly harmless catcalls directed at women on the street, to date and acquaintance rape, to gang rape at gunpoint. To the degree that we "let" the little things happen without saying anything, we tacitly support a sexually violent culture. When we don't think our speaking up counts for anything, we contribute to an environment that lets perpetrators get away with it.

Think of your sister, your mom, your girlfriend or one of your good friends in a sexually violent situation. What if someone watched or knew it was happening and did nothing to stop it? How would you feel?

Getting involved doesn't have to be (and ideally shouldn't be) a big production. Small interventions can make a big difference in a questionable situation. Just distracting someone, saying something, checking in with a person can stop the momentum of something bad. And if it wasn't going that direction in the first place, it's certainly not going to hurt to check in.

You always have more than one option as a bystander. Even in your regular life you can help prevent sexual assault without doing a whole lot. You can:

• Speak up if someone's putting down women.
• Offer to drive your friend(s) home from a party.
• Pair up with your friends at parties to keep an eye on each other.
• Talk to a guy who mistreats women and suggest he get help.

If you're in a situation in which you see something weird happening, you can:

• Distract the couple in order to diffuse the situation.
• Take one person aside and distract him.
• Offer to call a cab for one of the people.
• Track down a friend of one of the people and have him or her check on the friend.
• Knock on the door.
• Directly ask one of the people what's going on. (If it's a guy and a girl, it's a good idea to ask the girl away from the guy.)
• Shout something so everybody hears, like, "Hey, what are you doing? Leave her alone!" and stick around to make sure the situation has cooled down.
• Talk to the girl at some point and let her know you saw what was going on and that you're willing to help her.
• Open the door and ask if everything's cool. Interrupting an okay scene is better than standing around while a rape takes place.